Monthly Archives: February 2018

Ensure Good Parenting As A Single Parent

In today’s day and age, kids are more aware, progressive and vocal than earlier. They like to speak their mind and make their own choices. As amazing as that is, sometimes as a parent, makes the job a little more scary and in our heads difficult. Circumstances often lead families to be in situations where only one parent is available to take responsibility. At Vidya Mandir I have taught a lot of students who come from a Defense background. This means they’re used to traveling and changing schools every 3 years, making new friends and changing their peer groups, and usually growing up away from one of the parents due to postings. I have personally counselled a lot of parents on parenting in such a situation, because it does get extremely difficult for a single parent to manage the house, their lives as well as the upbringing of their kids all together, all alone. There is a lot of pressure put on the single parent in this case, and I have always extended my support during trying times. Today, I wish to share all that with you through this platform.
Whether you are a single parent, working mother or stay at home dad, here are some tips that will make your life easier and your child’s life happier.
 
1. Communication is key
The best people to understand each other are a parent and child. However, due to difference of opinion, many times we misinterpret or ignore the signs for need for attention or help that a child gives us. The best way to build a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and love, is to talk to your child and actually listen to what he or she is saying. Take out five -ten minutes in your day to make sure you are talking to your child, how he is feeling, what problems are happening etc. Be open with how are feeling too, communication is a two way process and your child will only open up to you if he/she trusts you and knows you trust and speak to him/her too. Even when you disagree, don’t bury the issue but talk about the rationale behind both opinions. It will help you and your child both, understand each other better.
Even involving yourself in activities/games with your child will show your investment in your child’s life. This will strengthen your relationship and encourage your child to share and be open with you.
2. Balance both ways
In every relationship there must be compromise. There will definitely be times that you don’t agree with your child’s choice or point of view. Look at it from a third persons point of view and if the rationale makes sense, give in. Let your child know that you will be open to being convinced sometimes and agree to things while other times certain things are non negotiable. When you are considering a situation, try to think of it from a child’s point of view.
Do not play the good cop,bad cop game or put responsibility on the other parent/ adult around. Take responsibility for your desicions and explain your actions to your child. Your hold should be constantly reminded that you care, and his or her best interests are at heart. All stakeholders will sometimes agree or disagree with the child, neither has more or less pull or power to decide. Even if your spouse is working away, or visits after long gaps, you need to be on the same page so that treatment is fair and equal from both parties.
 
 
3. Practice what you preach
Children are very observant. They base a large part of their behaviour from what they see around them. This becomes a conditioned response and a part of their personalities. Considering that as a parent you spend the most time with your child, most of your traits will be handed down to him/her.
Think of the values you are always lecturing your children about. What are the identifiable actions that directly correlate to those values. Think about whether you set a great example for your child. For example , if you would like your child to respect all, do you treat everyone around you including your child with respect? What are the different ways you show respect and do you explicitly call it out. Likewise when your child is respectful,  do you recognise the respect he or she shows and appreciate it? Your child will only take what you say seriously, if they see you applying it in your life too.
At the end of day, remember that your child cares for nobody greater than they do for you, just as your love and concern for them is larger than that of anyone else’s around them. Making sure your child knows this and actually believes it is the most important thing that will ensure a strong relationship and excellent parenting!!

Top 5 mistakes students make in their Board Exams – and how to correct them!

Board examinations are a rather stressful time for all students. These students are geared to score well, and prepare religiously as the marks often determine the next step. It is common for students to get stressed before writing their exams, and often even while writing the exams! Over the years, I have noticed some common mistakes that students make in their mock up exams leading to their boards, and often, even their board papers. I am noting them down here along with solutions-

1.      Misreading and missing instructions – students are often in a hurry to finish their paper as soon as they get it. Every subject paper in a board examination provides choices to the candidates. I have come across so many instances where students have attempted an extra question thereby leading to a time crunch, or even left a question because they didn’t pay enough attention…or simply forgot to turn the page! It is very important to be completely alert and scan the paper during the reading time, and plan out all that you’re going to attempt.

Here’s how I approach the 10 minute reading time – first, skim through the paper quickly in a couple of minutes and read all instructions. Next, read each section carefully and see what you can attempt, and plan your answers out. Always check and understand whether you have to attempt all sections, or only a few!

2.      Time crunch – Always keep a check on time! I’ve often noticed that students spend too much time pondering over answers, and sometimes too little time and thereby making mistakes. Balance it out – decide the amount of time you will take to tackle each section. Do not be anxious and hurry up – be patient. And if you can’t find a solution, skip to the next question and come back to this right at the end.

3.      Following a hierarchy – It is essential for students to be mindful of the marks that each section and question carries. Look at where the long answers are, and look at where the short ones are and weigh it out in terms of time. Usually, short answers are attempted first before hopping onto the section with long answer questions. Be brief, and to the point, and don’t ramble when you don’t need to!

4.      Copying the question wrong – this is another common mistake among most students. The only way to control is to not be anxious or in a hurry. Be patient, read every question carefully, and double check to ensure that you’re copying it right.

5.      Diagrams – Diagrams are often marked on their neatness and how they are labelled. Make sure that you are not drawing and redrawing – and don’t get frazzled while attempting diagrams or geometry and graphs in your boards. Leave ample amount of time for your diagrams and make sure that they are neat, precise, and well labelled. The hack to being efficient is to once again, be patient and systematic while drawing diagrams.

Tips to master concentration while studying

Studying can be rather tedious and takes up most of the student’s time – and is often, undesirable by students. It thus comes as no surprise that teachers have stringent rules about homework! Over the years, I’ve understood that there are a few hacks that make studying quicker, and easier – these are essentially hacks to improve your concentration while studying. I tell my students about these in my classes too, and would love to share it with everyone here too.

Here are some tips that will help students focus on studying-

Study out loud – you are 50% more likely to remember what you read out loud as opposed to reading the same paragraph again and again. Another tip is to play teacher and student – and explain the subject matter to yourself, solving your doubts, and raising questions to make yourself understand the subject matter better.

Create mental associations – The ability to make connections is not only an easier way to remember information, but it’s the fuel of creativity and intelligence. Creating these mental associations are an easy way to connect ideas by creating a visual overview of different connections (example- an easy way to remember the first 20 elements of the Periodic Table is to make a mnemonic) You can also draw diagrams to memorise.

Re-energise yourself every few minutes – Do not sit in a place for a prolonged period of time. Walk every 20 minutes and keep yourself well hydrated while studying. This will make you active and more interested in your topic.

Take power naps – If you are studying for long hours, do not beat yourself up or drink coffee or energy drinks to keep you up and about. If your brain has to concentrate consistently for hours at a time, it loses processing power and your concentration levels slip. Power naps work very well, and help you look at all the subject matter completely refreshed.

 

Do one thing at a time – Do not get ahead of yourself or take the easy way out; and don’t attempt to kill two birds with one stone. Not only does this leave you scattered and distracted, it makes your memory strained – i.e, you forget everything very easily. Instead, focus on one topic at a time and ensure that you understand it very clearly.

Meditation, a long term solution – Seek and practice guided meditation. It is a great tool to sharpening your senses and improving your focus in everyday life. It also improves both mental and physical health.

These are some basic hacks that help students improve their focus and master concentration while studying. I do hope that this is useful!

How to deal with exam stress?

When it comes to studies, the biggest problem students face nowadays is dealing with exam stress. Well,
this stems mostly from the fact that they don’t really prepare for the exams when they’re announced and
probably wake up for the exam on the day before the paper, (well, all of us have done this, haven’t we?) Either way – Exams aren’t a joke and a
little bit of stress is bound to happen.
So how do you deal with it?
The first commandment of dealing with exam stress is staying away from your phones! The phones and
distractions of social media and texting make a 2 hour revision into a 10 hour revision that you can barely
recollect. We’d say the best way to reduce stress is tick things off your portion, and keep your phone aside
while you’re at it.
The next very important thing is to stay mentally alert. How do you achieve this? By eating right and doing
some sort of physical activity to bust some of that exam stress. Have an exam the next day? Try going for a
quick run the evening before, and shower and eat well after that. The study session you’ll have that night
will definitely be a good one, with you being at a 100% mentally! Try it and thank us later.
Again, to go with this you need to eat healthy too. Don’t binge on chips in the exam stress, the science
behind it being that the fatty foods in fact make you lethargic and sleepy. Instead eat nutritious home
cooked food and munch on some nuts in the middle to help fuel your body while you’re mentally alert and
absorbing as much of the portion as you can!
Figure out a well-planned study schedule that fits in the portion in definitive timelines and gives you a good
6-8 hour period of sleep. Thus, the next morning you’re wide awake and able to recall all that you’ve
studied the previous night. Remember, a schedule and good amount of sleep help optimize your studies
and bring the best out of your efforts.
Besides this, another great way of dealing with exam stress and making ideal use of your time is going for
group classes and revisions, where you get to learn through other people’s doubts and mistakes as well as
your own!
If you’re still feeling nervous or stressed, run your schedule by your parents and ask them for their inputs
and blow off some steam just talking to them about what’s going on in your mind. Getting out of your shell
and clearing your mind is again a hack that is rarely used but highly effective!
Good luck, if you’ve done your bit in the preparations then you really just need to stay confident during the
exams and the results shall speak for themselves. It’s a simple case of cause and effect after all!